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Movie House Horror July 27, 2006

Posted by quiapo in Gripes / Flames / Rants.
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I just watched Kris Aquino’s Sukob last night (due to some incessant nagging) and the experience reminded me why I do not like to watch poppy pinoy flicks at the movie house. Not that I’m being too Conio… I watch pinoy movies if I find them to my liking, which means I rarely get to watch them because most pinoy movies are stupid action flicks, formulaic romantic comedies, or heavy drama. Sadly the local movies which I like don’t last long in the movie houses and thus most often when I go to the mall it has been replaced with a newer or more popular movie… an exemption would be Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Olivares which I watched all by my lonesome at SM Molino (I was the only person at the movie house!) and it was as boring as hell! Big Time was much much better…

The problem with watching P 100.00/head (so guys pay 200 hehe) local movies are the other people who watch it. I’m quite the movie purist so I hate to get distracted and some people are just big fucking retards with no social manners in movie houses. Unlike the time when watching movies are cheap and I could watch 3 movies in a single day (60 lang dati) now we have to choose wisely what movies need to be watched in the bigscreen and what could wait until HBO or Pirates of Carriedo, Curse of the Black Market comes up with clear DVDs.

Here are my list of most irritating jologs-y VIOLATIONS regularly committed in movie houses:

1. Attention Deficiency Syndrome: Some assholes think it’s fun to divert the attention of innocent movie watchers to their nimrod stunts. Last night there was this guy behind us who shouted his lungs out everytime there was a scare build-up (for lack of a better term… this is where the music becomes creepy) even if the execution was poor and no person with IQ higher than 99 would be scared. The retard just wanted some attention… poor him. We couldn’t take his antics (as well as the others beside his group) and thus we moved to another area far from that obnoxious shithead.

2. The ID Complex and Die Hard Fans: Some fans just can’t control themselves… they friggin SCREAM when they see their idols/interests/something they really like in a movie. In Sukob’s case it was Wendell Ramos’ body while he was bathing… it became a gay scream fest =( (which is scary in a different sense)

3. Cellphone Etiquette: No matter what movie house you go to…

a. The Stars: there will always be the great multitasking movie goer who texts with a cellphone having 18W Compact Fluorescent Lights for their backlights. It really becomes annoying if the scenes are very dark and there’s this “cellphone star” in the middle of some cinema seats.

b. The Banshees: Worse are those people who have cellphones with silent mode broken (or their heads are). Again, last night, while organ music was playing to build up the suspense, I hear farm sounds at the back because some idiot did not put his cellphone on silent mode, had a Moo moo quack quack arf arf meow meow mp3 text message tone (because if that was a friggin call this nimrod would’ve talked loud inside the cinema), and he or she was repeatedly texting someone because I could hear the damn thing multiple times in a short span of time.

c. The Mutant Banshees: The worst of these violators are the movie watchers who for some frikkin lack of common decency converse with someone over the phone while they are inside the movie house… I mean jeezuzkrayzt… this isn’t a friggin call center go somewhere else… and what’s so ironic about this is, because he/she is inside a movie house with SDDS/Dolby/etc sound system, THEY CAN’T HEAR EACH OTHER AND SO THIS IDIOT NEEDS TO SCREAM ON THE CELLPHONE!

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