The Lancer Quest: Me vs. the Evil Greedy Sales Agents October 15, 2012Posted by quiapo in badtrip na naman si pierre, Gripes / Flames / Rants, Musings / Random Thoughts.
Tags: greedy sales agents, lancer GLX, mitsubishi lancer ex 1.6L
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So imagine that I just won Mr. Pogi of the Universe 2012 and I’m planning to buy the new Lancer 1.6L EX GLX variant with my winnings. I’ve been searching online for a nice price and most online listings are at Php 750-778k due to discounts. Now, I’ll be buying the unit, to make the long story short, in cash. I also won’t be getting the LTO registration and comprehensive insurance from the dealer because I’m gonna ship the car to my good friend who’s in Angola so he can sell it there for the price of two Audi QQs.
(Now, don’t imagine the next details because all the following details are true. With the previous paragraph however, only the list price for the Lancer EX GLX is true.)
The problem is that almost all the sales agents I’ve talked to don’t want to give me the list price on their ads because I’ll be paying in cash. They are claiming that the 750k discounted price is only for purchase via financing. If it was, then why do they still post that amount in online sites like sulit.com.ph, Olx, and Ayosdito.ph?
And they don’t want to give me additional discount because I won’t be getting the LTO registration and comprehensive insurance from them. Considering that LTO is about 7k, and compre is another 22k (roughly) so aside from the 750-778k list price, I think it’s just fair that I get another 29k discount aside from the standard discount given by Mitsubishi PH.
In addition, agents say that LTO and compre are considered freebies so there will be no deductions if I opted not to get it from them. Some are even “garapal” that they say that the compre and LTO are on-top of the Php 778k price so to my surprise (and irritation) I’ll be paying more!
Now, that’s just not right. First of all, if all was right in the world and this was a logical world where truth and love and honesty governed, (and Nur Misuari wasn’t so negative on the peace process) the list price for the car should be the same if you get it via financing or cash. The only thing that should change if you get it via financing is that there would be interest involved, so the total paid up price after so many years would be much higher. As for LTO registration and comprehensive insurance, I call bullshit on people that say it’s free. These are items that have verified costs, and if indeed these things are free, then why can’t I get alternative free stuff like a spoiler, a backing sensor, GPS, and reverse camera in lieu of the LTO and insurance?
If Mitsubishi is plagued by sales agents like these and I can’t find an honest sales agent (ala Sodom and Gomorrah) I might just get a boring as stone Altis.
Tags: Cybercrime law, Noynoy, RA 10175, Sotto
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Well, the title of the law itself is absurd… When you say cybercrime prevention act, should the goal of the law be to prevent cyber-crime or to punish entities that committed cyber-crime? Or are we in the world of Minority Report, and pre-crime is considered a crime?
The sections contained within the cyber-crime law are not for cyber crime prevention, but for punishment of “cyber-crimes” that the law’s authors deem to be so significant their punishment is one notch higher than those imposed by the country’s revised penal code. And the weird thing is that there’s almost no preventive solution to cyber crime that was mentioned in the cyber crime prevention act.
Now, from the title alone, it seems that the law itself wasn’t well thought of, and the details of RA 10175 show that the writing is pretty vague and the writers seem to be out of touch or not fully knowledgeable about the dynamics of cyberspace.
RA 10175 was crafted to put controls into the “brave new world” of cyberspace. Lawmakers have romanticized that the internet was a wild jungle wherein there were no laws, and poor citizens are very vulnerable to attacks on cyberspace. Thus, there is a need to enact laws to protect the citizens, like a new colony that is starting to establish order. The emergence of “cyber bullying” and hacking scares puts some legitimacy for the need of a law on cyberspace. However…
WTF is this BULLSHIT law that they made?!
The cyber libel section is the most controversial of all provisions of RA 10175, and as has been repeated over the internet, it curtails the freedom of speech that all should enjoy. Apart from losing the right to freedom of speech, this law can be used to harass ordinary people to keep their online mouths shut.
A year ago, I discovered edited photos passed on as real images by the Philippine government’s Department of Public Works and Highways in their Facebook page. I posted the photo on this blog, it got re-posted several times on Facebook until it was noticed and became a national topic.
If this law was active then, the DPWH could have filed an online libel complaint against my blog post with the DOJ, and since both of them are government agencies, the DOJ would have probably agreed with the DPWH’s position and shut down my blog.
They could have done this without any trial at all, and they could have done it swiftly, before the news on the altered photos exploded all over the internet. And when the take-over clause shuts down my blog without that issue going into critical mass, the DPWH would not have been correctly criticized by netizens. They could have just shoved a middle finger up my online ass and not acknowledged the altered photo, not to mention that they would have never issued a public apology and “punished” the erring employee behind the altered photo.
And from that, not only was my freedom of expression violated, but I would have been harassed legally, perhaps even financially because if charges were filed against me, I’d have to hire a lawyer. My job would have also been affected and my privacy violated, because they could confiscate my phone, my laptop, and my computer to get more evidence against me. I’d also have to attend court hearings, so I have to take a leave of absence from work.
And if they found porn or any torrents in any of my electronic devices? Boom. I’d be guilty on two more counts of RA 10175.
All that hassle, because the DPWH posted a stupid altered photo on their fb page.
Now, if you aren’t me, if you’re the type who shies away from conflict and wants to live an ordinary peaceful life, you might have thought that “hey, all that hassle isn’t worth it, I’m just going to ignore the government’s stupidity and go on with my life.” And if you did that, imagine how many other people would do that.
And if netizens fell silent because of this law, we’d have that fucking ugly BATANGAS sign on Taal Volcano right now. That’s how stupidly oppressive RA 10175 is.
AAAAAAND lets not forget the other trespasses, such as the one on online piracy. As was experienced in the fight against PIPA and SOPA in the US, this law will target ordinary citizens and make them liable for sharing files over the internet. This is a lazy solution to combat piracy, and shifts the focus from combating those that create “pirated” software with sophisticated means of hiding themselves on the net, to hapless ordinary citizens. Btw, torrents/file sharing per se is valid under our rights to freedom of expression.
And the part on cybersex?! That’s just stupid and prude of Angara to include this when in fact he should have made this section against CYBER-PROSTITUTION. Is having sex a crime? No. So why is cybersex a crime then?! When I read this part, I just felt bad for all the OFWs that are craving for a little bit of intimacy from their partners here in the Philippines. Oh, online porn viewing (and storage on hard drives) just became crimes as well. Because viewing porn on a computer is considered cybersex. Just fucking ridiculous.
This was a law, written by an old guy who doesn’t fully comprehend the internet, with a stupid online-libel section added by a plagiarist, voted into law by senators who didn’t even read the entire law, signed by a president who professes to lead us into a “matuwid na daan” but uses Apple Maps to plot out the way.
Dear Philippine Legislature, I’m very disappointed. I pay taxes, I pay a lot of money on taxes, approximately 30% of my salary on withholding taxes.
I DEMAND A BETTER GOVERNMENT WORTHY OF MY HARD EARNED MONEY.
AND I DEMAND THAT THIS LAW BE NULLIFIED.
FHM Philippines covers can be racy, but should never be RACIST. February 25, 2012Posted by quiapo in badtrip na naman si pierre, Gripes / Flames / Rants, Musings / Random Thoughts, Photos.
Tags: Bela Padilla, blackface, FHM, FHM Philippines, FHM Racist Cover, March 2012
Major Update: FHM Philippines has issued an apology and will use another cover for their March 2012 issue. You can see their official statement here.
They have deleted the old cover’s picture from their fb page and with this, I have also deleted the reposted image here as I believe I should not be storing racially insensitive images in my personal blog. I hope that other sites that reposted the FHM Philippines’ “stepping out of the shadows” cover would delete their copies as well. I also hope that our friends from all forms of media learn from this issue and become more sensitive to racial and social issues.
The blog posting per se is still intact below, but without the image.
I was involuntarily shutdown from any gimmicks tonight because my right thigh hurts after I sprained it yesterday, so I was wasting my time on FB when a post from FHM Philippines’ Facebook page caught my eye. I’m a sucker for porcelain skinned girls and I wanted to view a bigger version of the picture. So I clicked on the link and this is what I saw:
(Image Deleted for World Peace)
March 2012 FHM Philippines Bela Padilla Cover
Also when you see it, you’ll shitbrix
I had to squint a little and check the details of the photo. It say’s “Bela Padilla: stepping out of the shadows” with a very light skinned Bela Padilla surrounded by five girls. Of the five, it seems three had their bodies (and face) covered in black paint. Er… isn’t that BLACKFACE?
Now, I was pretty surprised to see this. I know FHM has been criticized as a sexist rag, but do they have to be racist as well? With FHM being an international publication, I don’t understand how the magazine’s editors and art team would fail to recognize the sensitivity of people to blackface. Blackface has been a tool of racism in America since the early 1800s, where African Americans are stereotyped and lampooned as several comical caricatures. In the US, as well as in most of the western world, the use of blackface has been very controversial and has been generally limited to satire in main stream media, such as in Robert Downey Jr.’s character in Tropic Thunder.
And even without the blackface, the “stepping out of the shadows” theme with “black” girls seemingly worshiping a very light skinned Bela Padilla is pretty racist as well. The photo gives a stark contrast to what people deem attractive/grabs attention as represented by skin tones, with the shadow / unnoticeable “black girls” being mere background to Bela Padilla who’s skin is very light. To me, what this projects is that you can only be noticed (step out of the shadow) if you are light skinned. Now, ain’t that racist?
I posted this reaction on the same FHM post above:
just my two cents: FHM is an international publication and they should’ve been more sensitive to issues on racism. A quick wiki shows that blackface was used to stereotype and lampoon African Americans.
Kung tayo nga, sobrang sensitive natin pag may humihirit ng negative tungkol sa pinoy/Pilipinas, bakit pagdating sa mga african-americans eh napaka-racist pa din natin na napaka-insensitive natin tulad na lang dito sa cover na ‘to. If you don’t want racism to be used against you, be sensitive to other races.
In this day and age, blackface should only be used for satire or social commentary. This isn’t the case in this shoot.
A lot of other netizens have been calling out FHM and their racist photoshoot as well. I do hope that from the negative reaction, they’ll issue a public apology, review their editorial policies, punish the staff responsible for this, and recall the magazine and replace it with something that’s not racist.
Update: someone posted an online petition to recall the magazine issue. If you’re like me and you’re offended (and/or you shat brix upon seeing the blackfaces) , sign it. http://www.change.org/petitions/for-him-magazine-philippines-to-apologize-for-and-recall-the-racist-march-2012-cover?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=share_with_facebook_friends#
A LACK OF HUMANITY AND NO FIRST AID TRAINING??? Pampanga Police fail October 12, 2011Posted by quiapo in badtrip na naman si pierre, Gripes / Flames / Rants.
Tags: pampanga, police, security, shooting, SM Pampanga
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My brother just alerted me to this video showing the disgusting inaction of the police, mall security, and mall admin. I do not have any confirmation that this is indeed a video from a shooting incident that happened in one of the popular malls in Pampanga, but given that the dialect being spoken is Kapampangan, and the recent news that the shooter and the victim were adolescent boys, and the mall officials’ uniform looks like it was from one of the more popular malls in Pampanga…
Well, the youtube video’s title gives a better description:
(Note: not for people who easily get grossed out)
I believe the standard procedure for this type of incident is to secure the area first, and when there are no imminent threats, proceed to help the injured, regardless if the injured is a victim or the shooter.
As you can see from the video, there are no more imminent threats in the area as the shooter is lying down on the ground. Inexplicably, police and security personnel have been roaming around the area while there was no one giving first aid to the fallen guy lying on the left. The guy was twitching and rolling around in agony and no one was giving him any attention – what the hell?!!
Instead of just walking around like lazy mindless idiots that don’t give a f*ck, they should’ve been helping that guy that was still struggling!!! Why is it that no one even went near them???
DON’T THE POLICE AND SECURITY PERSONNEL UNDERGO FIRST AID TRAINING???
Prompt action could have prevented loss of blood, infection, and failure of internal organs. That guy’s life could still be saved if there was any urgency in their actions. But there’s none for the most part of the video. The police and security were just looking around like it was just a movie set. ANO YAN SHOOTING NG PELIKULA NI BINOE??? One of the most frustrating parts of this video is at 1:02 when it was shown that one of the security guards even had a first aid kit on his belt, and he didn’t do anything!
It took 2 minutes since the start of the video until someone arrived to check on the guy with the white and blue shirt. The one that went to help doesn’t even look like a public official or one of the mall’s employees.
Puro na lang kabobohan ang nangyayari sa atin recently… nakakalungkot.
They should fire everyone in this video for their lack of humanity.
Update: Follow-up coverage by ABS-CBN just makes the incident even worse. According to their reports, the guy that was still struggling was the 16 yr old victim. The 13 yr old shooter is the one that wasn’t moving and seemed dead. So… if the victim still had signs of life, why the hell didn’t anyone try to help him???
Also, from this video: http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/video/nation/regions/10/13/11/teens-sm-shooting-could-have-been-saved-says-expert it’s clear that the victim had a chance of surviving if anyone gave him first aid. It was stupid of the PNP to reason out that they were waiting for medical personnel. Just putting pressure on the bullet wound would’ve helped slow down the bleeding.
Does the DPWH’s Singson have no originality? Pointing blame on the photographer was first made in China! October 3, 2011Posted by quiapo in badtrip na naman si pierre, Gripes / Flames / Rants, Musings / Random Thoughts.
After office hours, while reading new posts linking to my blog, I read the Associated Post’s syndicated news write-up on the DPWH scandal and Ricky Carandang’s press release.
At the back of my head, I was still thinking of Sec. Rogelio Sison’s statement that it was a DPWH photographer who was at fault. Repeat: Photographer was at fault.
In my previous blog, I was reasoning out that it should not be the photographer’s fault because it wasn’t a photographer’s job to post pics on their web page. Also, Singson’s statement was a little bit not aligned with Beth Pilorin’s initial statement apologizing for posting photos that have not yet been cleared. I also remembered Andro Santiago’s statement in the Inquirer that there was a mix-up of photos that lead to the erroneous posting, he said that:
the photo had been posted by mistake as they were also preparing the layout for a magazine they circulated in the DPWH.
… the images of Momo, Tagudando and Macud had been cropped from a photo and laid on top of another photo to form the image which sparked criticism online. “It was a cropped photo (of the officials) showing them in another angle.
So I was a little puzzled because there are three officials saying three different stories. They could all be telling the truth, but the story would go something like this:
- Photographer takes photo of the 3 in Baywalk
- Photographer goes back to the office, downloads his photos on his PC for possible retouching
- Photographer does not like his angles / photo compositions
- PID Boss then tells photographer to ready pictures for an internal DPWH magazine, from my interpretation, it was ok to photoshop then because this was an internal publication (as per Andro Santiago)
- Photographer then goes on FB, gains admin access to the DPWH Central account, and then posts the edited photo mistakenly (as per Singson) and without approval from anyone. (as per Beth Pilorin) But he did have the time to add all that information as to who the three are and what they were doing in the photo.
Talk about multi-tasking! From that seemingly tall tale, it seems that the guy multitasks as photographer, graphics editor, web admin, and PR man (from the brief write-up that was posted with the pic). How much does the DPWH pay him? He seems like a one man PR army.
I myself was not convinced of this and I can’t think of any other way the three statements could be all real. So… I did a little research and bam! I saw this post in yahoo regarding the reasons given by the Chinese government on the China photoshop scandal.
Huili county officials were quick to blame the mix-up on journalists–or in this case, a photographer. “The explanation was almost as curious as the picture itself: as other photos showed, the three men did visit the road in question, but an unnamed photographer decided his original pictures were not suitably impressive and decided to stitch two together,”
WHAT THE EFF?!!! Did Singson just copy his excuse from China??? The Chinese and Philippine incidents are just waaaaay too similar that it’s becoming creepy. Even the Chinese officials’ excuse has now been the Philippine officials’ excuse. Even to the unnamed photographer part!
It’s funny but when Rogelio Singson said that he didn’t remember the photographer’s name, he might not have remembered it because the photographer’s name was CHINESE.
AMPF! Nangopya na nga lang tayo ng iskandalo, pati ba naman palusot, mangongopya din tayo???
Note: had to change the title a little bit
DPWH Photoshop Fail September 28, 2011Posted by quiapo in badtrip na naman si pierre, Gripes / Flames / Rants, Photos.
Tags: DPWH, Photoshop, photoshop fail
I’m a civil engineer by profession and I love my job and if there’s one thing I hate it’s people that fabricate their inspection reports. Why? Inspection reports are very important in our field, if the inspection report is erroneous, this might lead to a wrong and/or costly design. Aside from that, it might lead to a very difficult project implementation, and worse, not prepare others from potential safety risks of the site.
Which is why I was uber-pissed when I was checking my updates in FB at around lunch time yesterday and I saw this:
click on the image to enlarge
Now, if you didn’t have knowledge in Adobe photoshop, you would’ve just glanced at it and moved on with your life, but I’ve used the software since I was in high school (I’m 30 now) so I kinda noticed something weird. Here’s the blow-up of the image from DPWH:
click on the image to enlarge
WTF?! Those three guys seem to be floating on air.
So I re-checked the image and concluded that DPWH fabricated this picture. Why they had to edit it and not just simply compose a photo with all three guys, I do not know. Although my evil mind tells me that the DPWH wants a pogi photo showing their bosses in deep thought while assessing the disaster site, and they didn’t have the opportunity to pose because those guys were probably there for 15 minutes max – so they just lasso tooled the hell out of that pic.
Here are my findings on how lame this photo was ‘shopped.
click on the image to enlarge
Shit, even my mom can do that in CS5. I didn’t even go to lighting analysis because I’m not a photoshop expert, but I sure as hell know that I’m better at photoshop than the guy that did this hack job.
Some say this is a very minor issue, but I see this as a nice sample of DPWH’s lack of integrity. If they can fabricate simple things like this, just imagine what these guys can do to progress billings and acceptance of projects. Also, while relatively mild, isn’t this a classic example of “Utak Wangwang?” While unethical and unnecessary, they thought they could get away with fabricating photos so they tried to.
As of this writing, the DPWH has not apologized for this grave indiscretion.
Update: After more than a day, they apologized for posting an *uncleared* pic. They didn’t say anything about how much they rely on photoshop though… https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/hey-hey-the-dpwh-apologizes-sort-of/
Update2: My bad, I was sleepy and thought DPWH claimed the inital pic wasn’t photoshopped. I misread it, yung *official pic* pala ang sinasabi ni Mr. Santiago. The initial tirade against Santiago that I posted here was uncalled for. But I’m still pissed at their stupid reasons for the mix-up. Here’s the inquirer.net article: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/67533/photo-of-%E2%80%98floating%E2%80%99-dpwh-officials-causes-uproar-in-cyberspace
Update3: another bopols move by the DPWH https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/another-bopols-move-for-the-dpwh-kisses-bosses-ass-before-appeasing-noynoys-bosses/
Update5: It’s now in the Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/philippines-officials-photoshop-themselves-into-typhoon-cleanup-photo/2011/09/30/gIQA09OhAL_blog.html
Update6: Pakiusap lang sa mga nagsasabing nakakahiya ang Pilipinas at maging Pilipino dahil sa insidenteng ito. https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/10/01/pakiusap-lang/
Update7: DPWH Secretary Singson is embarrassed, aims whip at photographer: https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/dpwh-secretary-singson-embarrassed-aims-whip-at-photographer/
Update8: WTF? Could Sec. Singson’s excuse/reason be made in China? https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/does-singson-dpwh-have-no-originality-pointing-the-blame-on-the-photographer-is-first-made-in-china/
Update9: And now we have CAKE https://quiapo.wordpress.com/2011/10/11/the-dpwh-meme-cake-no-acceptance-celebration-is-complete-without-it-d/
Tags: bishop resign, Butuan bishop, CBCP, corruption, Juan de Dios Pueblos, Pajero bishops, PCSO scandal, Pueblos resign
Dear Bishop Your Holiness Sir,
I write to you regarding your birthday announcement (?) letter to the ex-president GMA that was recently made public. I must congratulate you for such a finely written (and now, based on the latest expose’, also very effective) piece. That was one of the finest examples of a subtle “quasi-proposal” that I read. That was just sheer GENIUS of you. I really dig the “I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me” part which is constructed so expertly as to almost demand for a brand new car in exchange for your support, but wrap this demand in the cuddliness and innocence of a 5th grade unmolested altar boy.
Why, if I was in the 5th grade and I read that letter of yours, my brains would’ve melted just trying to apply my knowledge of my “Language” subject and the four basic types of speech. It would have been hard for my still developing brain to classify if that was informative or persuasive. At the surface, it is informative because you did say that it is your birthday and that you won’t be having a party and that you are the PEACE CHAMPION OF CARAGA and you have a broken down 7 year old car and you want a new 4×4 to replace it.
However, the piece becomes pretty persuasive because of the closing line: “Be assured of my constant support and sincerest prayers to your Excellency.” Boy was THAT LINE persuasive! Heck, it doesn’t even need the whole sentence; just the phrase “Be assured of my constant support” was more than enough. That one line scored you a Mitsubishi Montero Sport 4×4 SUV, W-O-R-D!
As an avid fan of the Mitsubishi brand, let me clarify that a Mitsubishi Montero Sport is not just a car, it’s not just a 4×4 and you don’t just buy it to reach far flung areas in Caraga. It’s a freaking status symbol worth 1.7 Million pesos for Christ’s sakes! (yes I just had to use that now). If you really just needed a utility vehicle that you could use to climb up dirt roads, you could’ve opted for an Isuzu D-Max, Ford Ranger, Mitsubishi Strada, Toyota Hilux or Nissan Navara for roughly a Million. Hell you could even have a kumportable but still relatively mura Toyota Fortuner for around 1.4M! The excess money could have been used to feed and heal the poor people that you visit in the far flung areas in Caraga. After all, the reason why you go to far flung areas in Caraga is to help the needy isn’t it? Not to check on any recently acquired neo-friar lands?
With this, you must agree with me that your credibility right now isn’t even worth the paper that last Sunday’s misalette was printed on, but it probably was worth about 1.7M (plus delivery charge to Butuan?) during the time of GMA. Now… what should you do? I for one “try” to go to church on Sundays, but if I saw you on the pulpit I swear to the high heavens I would leave the mass. Why? Because you have no credibility left to teach the Good News.
And please don’t give me that “forgive us for Christ forgives” and the “we are all sinners” crap. One, while I try my best to be a good person, I’m not Christ. Also, while everyone sins, not everyone has a 4×4 Mitsubishi Montero sport to show because of it. I’m not bitter about that though… that vehicle’s a heck of a gas gussler.
Now, I did not write this letter to bash you, in fact, I write this letter to persuade you to change careers. PLEASE RESIGN FROM THE PRIESTHOOD, you don’t belong there. Instead of being a bishop, why don’t you try teaching persuasive letter writing? With your proven skills in subtle persuasion, you’ll be very much in demand! You may not be credible to teach the Good News, but you’ll be more than credible in teaching subtle ways to milk the government. Imagine the potential high profile clients that you’ll have! You’ll be very much in demand to congressmen and senators that are seeking pork barrel, Military top brass with plea bargain needs, contractors and gov’t officials that want to bypass the bidding process, and even in your own backyard, your fellow bishops like you that want SUVs! You’ll be able to replace that Montero Sport in no time!
Even I want to avail of your services. After all, unlike you, I’m closely identified with the new president. The president owes me big time because I “liked” his facebook fan page, shared his fan page to all my friends, and defended him from all the bashers and trolls in fb, Spot.ph, and Yahoo! Philippines – do you realize how many bashers and trolls there are in the local interwebs?
Pardon me if I’m a little gaya-gaya, but my birthday is fast approaching and I want to emulate your approach with the former president…. Yep I’m gonna send PNoy a letter just like you did! I’d like you to review this draft for a similar birthday letter of mine to PNoy.
Dear Mr. President,
I will be celebrating my 30th birthday on Sept 19. I know this will be a precious day and timely occasion to thank the Lord for giving me another year … After a prayerful discernment and due considerations and spending too much time on Facebook, Google+(yey!), motherless, jorpetz.com, and Inquirer.net, I have decided not to hold a birthday party. Instead, I prefer to make use of my birthday as a day with and for myself, and with Johnny Walker and Chivas Regal – you can tag along with me provided you let me drive that Porsche of yours or give me Shalani’s digits (your choice).
Having clicked the like button and shared your Facebook page to my facebook friends, I am grateful to be an instrument and contributor to the increase in your online popularity, especially in Facebook (sucks that SWS surveys say that it’s dipping though – I believe a much truer figure is the number of likes on your fan page). I know I can do more to promote your fan page, and also sell more yellow polo-shirts with the map of the Philippines embroidered on the chest.
It is in this view that I am asking a favor from your Excellency. At present, I really need a brand-new car, possibly a 4 x 4, which I can use to reach the far-flung and sometimes flooded areas of Cainta. I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me. For your information, I have with me a 17-year-old car which is not anymore in good running condition (what with all that Ondoy shit). Therefore, this needs to be replaced very soon.
I am anticipating your favorable response on this regard. Thank you very much. Be assured of my constant support and sincerest prayers to your Excellency.
p.s. If you have a little more budget, a really want a yellow Chevy Camaro, It’s not as pricey as your Porsche but due to the Transformers movies, that’s equivalent to +1.7Million pogi points. And also, I really really like Bumblebee. =)
I’m willing to pay you to edit this letter of mine, provided payment will be due after I receive my requested yellow Camaro.
In closing, I beseech you to please don’t excommunicate me because of this letter. My grandma, mom, and my girlfriend will get pretty mad at me if you do.
Yours in digging SUVs and Mitsubishi vehicles,